Everyone in our village lives to a ripe old age when the council gave them a new cemetery they had to shoot someone to get it going.
I did not invent the glove puppet but I had a hand in it.
If Popeye was a cannibal would he cook with Olive Oyle?
One of my oldest original jokes
BUST UP IN A BISCUIT TIN
This joke was written in August 2006 by George Valentine and has since been copied and reworked many times over across the internet.
There was a bust up in a biscuit tin. While eating a Trio a Bandit called Rocky, who was Crackers, hit a Penguin from Montana over the head with a Club, tied him to a Wagon Wheel with a Blue Ribbon, kidnapped a Trophy and made his Breakaway in a Taxi. The police say the Smart Cookie Rocky who had a previous conviction for being drunken disorderly was last seen by a Viscount from Maryland whilst walking his Yorkie at just After Eight. Rocky was having Morning Coffee at the Ritz, he was Hobnobbing with a Ginger Nut playing a Banjo. Unfortunately at this stage the police do not have a Crumb of evidence to go on.